when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My life is pants optional.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
