Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
