fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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