Even the bartender felt bad for me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
