i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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