cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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