I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
