I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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