I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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