Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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