What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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