He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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