Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
