It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
