No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
