I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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