you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
