I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
