You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
