She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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