If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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