erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
