Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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