fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Still dying that you shit outside
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
