he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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