The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
