using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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