you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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