The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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