Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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