are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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