We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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