The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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