the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
