The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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