Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
