He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
