Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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