Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.

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(785): View more from Kansas

We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.

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(678): View more from Georgia

As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.

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(425): View more from Washington

Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable

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(315): View more from New York

This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand

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(970): View more from Colorado

Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.

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(512): View more from Texas

He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n

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