worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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