Your dad touched me again.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
