Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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