At least make sure they are 18
Why
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
