This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
