I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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