Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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