Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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