I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i drank out of a bidet.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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