wrigley field is MILF paradise
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
