We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
