he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
